Chigusa
by Silberias
Summary: Because Chigusa was just another part of Villeta at this point, and it was alright if Chigusa loved him.


This is during the year between R1 and R2, the year Lelouch is living his false memories, etc. It's from Villeta Nu's POV.

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It wasn't right to miss him—it just wasn't. He was an _Eleven_. Chigusa missed him, but Villeta fought the emotion tooth and nail. But she couldn't help the fact that the happiest memories in her life were the ones that she remembered when she was around him. His name was Ohgi, and his hair was curly and the darkest brown turning to black. It wasn't the smooth jet black which Britannians had, it was something more…natural. His hair was how black hair was somehow supposed to look. Because she'd called herself Chigusa when she didn't remember who she was, it was alright for _Chigusa_ to be half-way in love with Ohgi. Not Villeta Nu, a trained Britannian fighter.

Chigusa wouldn't have been able to defend herself from the Elev—No, Chigusa thought of them as Japanese, it was only right that Villeta call them by what Chigusa remembered—from the Japanese. Chigusa knew she couldn't die—who would take care of Ohgi? He had barely taken care of himself before she'd come into his life, how could he go on without her? But how could a meek woman like her defend herself against armed Japanese? How could she tell them she meant them no harm?

She couldn't, and in her desperation a mental wall had been broken down. Chigusa had allowed herself to be swept back up into Villeta Nu's personality and memories. Chigusa was merely an apparition of the child which ambition had crushed years ago in Villeta's life. If everything that Villeta wanted now wasn't in the picture, the person who Chigusa was would be who Villeta was. Villeta hadn't known that person's name until she woke up in her own mind, staring down the barrel of a gun.

Where Chigusa couldn't, Villeta _could_. Despite Chigusa's cries in her mind to leave Ohgi alone, Villeta went on her mission to find him. No Eleven would make a mockery of her, not even a man who part of her was madly in love with. Chigusa hadn't known it, or was too shy to admit it, but one thought about Ohgi and Villeta _knew_. Chigusa's protests died instantly in her mind when Villeta pulled the trigger and shot him—even Villeta was privately stunned at how easily he crumpled. He was just another man with normal black hair.

Normal black hair.

Villeta thought about normal black hair a lot as she was assigned to watch over Lelouch Lamperouge. Lelouch had Britannian hair, a trademark unnaturally black color. It looked spiky and _weird_. Not like Ohgi's. After a year, Villeta had eventually gotten rid of Chigusa's voice by making peace with herself—Chigusa was just another part of her. Just like the fact that she enjoyed torturing Lelouch at school—really the boy might not remember it, but he did steal a prized Knightmare from her once—she now enjoyed the thought of black hair and Japanese culture. In her private life, in her own rooms, she did things which felt natural despite not having been raised to do them.

She took off her shoes inside, which she told herself was so that she could keep the floors clean. And she tortuously learned how to cook rice and grate paste into mushroom and onion soup. The ingredients for the food were less expensive than imported Britannian meats and cheeses. She learned the names of Japanese food, the lesson from a campaign in the EU well learned: if you can't say the name of it, don't eat it. She hired a half-caste as a servant and had the girl teach her Japanese. What better way to communicate orders perfectly than to give those orders in such a manner as they were incontrovertible?

Villeta found herself softening sadly whenever she saw news reports about the former Black Knights or about their leader Kaname Ohgi. They were being kept alive for one purpose only: as a bargaining chip against Zero if Lelouch's memories were to ever return. Well, if they were to return and Villeta couldn't stop him. Her life would probably be forfeit if she did fail, but she didn't know for sure. It's not like she would lose anything—if Zero returned and managed to free Ohgi and the rest, Ohgi would likely want nothing to do with her.

The part of Villeta that used to be Chigusa, but was now just another facet of Villeta as a whole, clung to the hope that Ohgi would want her alive rather than dead. That he'd understand that Villeta had to return in order for Chigusa to live. He had to know that Villeta had shot him before she'd fully asked herself what he meant to her.

He had to.

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